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I'm so scared

Translated into Spanish below... I struggled for most of my life with anxiety. For those of you who suffer from anxiety you know the anxiety attacks can be crippling. But apart from the anxiety attacks, everyday life can be difficult to manage with a mountain of anxiety you carry with you in every moment. This is how I lived my life. Anxious and afraid. I can give you a thousand reasons of what caused my anxiety. Some say it’s a medical condition of the mind, other say it’s from childhood trauma. But none of that matters. What matters is that it controlled me for much of my life. What matters is that now I am free.   I want to share with you what I have learned about fear. Fear is a feeling. That’s all it is. It’s an emotion. Whether it comes from a brain chemical or childhood trauma or simply because you happen to be a sensitive person, it’s still just an emotion. Once I realized It was just an emotion and I was letting a false emotion control my life – it was easier to handle.
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My Inspiration

For those of you who don't know we've run into problems with my residency in Mexico which is causing this process of adopting our kids to last a lot longer than we originally thought. So we have decided to sell our home in Las Vegas and stay here for the foreseeable future. Christopher has been staying in our house in Las Vegas. So Christopher will be moving down here with us.  Christopher has been enjoying his independence in Las Vegas and having autism, he doesn't handle change well. I wanted to tell you how he's been doing. He came down for the holiday before going back to help pack up the house.  During this time, I've seen him actively looking for the good things in the move. He's been looking for the positive and the beauty. Last night as we shared Thanksgiving dinner with the kids at The Refuge he met Amanda. She's a new little girl that he hasn't met before. They instantly connected and they played and laughed. As it got late she fell asleep on
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But I Just Can't!

Yesterday and today I have been reading in Exodus. You know that famous story about Moses - "Let my people go!" Yeah so before Moses goes to Egypt to meet with Pharaoh, God tells Moses exactly how this is going to go down. First, you're gonna go and ask Pharaoh to let your people go, and he will eventually but first I'm going to harden his heart. But there's a purpose because when he finally does let you go he's going to let you leave with all kinds of stuff! Moses then goes to Pharaoh. "let my people go". And Pharaoh says - yeah that's not gonna happen and since you came to me to ask this - I'm going to give them more work, I'm going to increase their burden and their beatings.  And what do you know - the Israelites started whining. Go away - you've caused nothing but trouble. You said you were gonna set us free but you've just made things harder for us now we're in an impossible situation. And how does Moses react to th
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Patience...Really?

Romans 5:3-4 "And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations knowing that tribulation produces perseverance and perseverance, character, and character, hope. Perseverance also translates to patience. Tribulations - meaning trouble - trials - pressure like that of squeezing the fluid from olives or grapes - not just the normal pressures of living.  How in the world do you give glory to God in the middle of this kind of extreme pressure?  Are you ready for the answer? Hold on to your seats...How do you NOT give glory to God?   I get it! Finally - after all these years I finally understand! How can you NOT give glory to God! What a privilege and an honor to be allowed to go through these extraordinary pressures and watch God at work! He gives us the privilege of seeing Him at work - the miracle worker Himself. How can we NOT give Him glory!   I've seen Him work time and time again. It's like the disciples on the boat and they're worried cause they don't
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Rise up

Isaiah 41:4  "But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint." I’m reminded of a hike I took with the kids from the orphanage recently. Now, I’m not a hiker. I have arthritis which plagues me. But I take an anti-inflammatory which helps keep it livable. However, I ran out. I can’t cross to get more. So I hurt. Every day it’s a struggle to get out of bed. Thankfully I have this cream, it works well. That’s not the point. This day I went hiking with the kids – we woke up early and got on the road. When we began the hike I felt good but we got about five minutes in and absolutely everything hurt. My knees hurt, my back, my neck. The change in elevation was wreaking havoc on my arthritis. I didn’t know how I would possibly make it through. So at our first stop at a rock formation I stopped. I applied some cream and I prayed. I wanted to be able to do a ligh
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BrokenHearted

I thought I would start with my devotion for today. Psalm 34:18  "The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit." This is a great promise and the temptation for me is to go with the obvious – He’s with us – of course He’s with us – He makes us the promise to be with us. I mean His name is Emmanuel – God with us. But today – I asked myself why. You see I want to know His character so well – it is so ingrained in my spirit, that when things go wrong I don’t have to remind myself of His promises because I know His character that well. So today I asked myself – why is He promising to be with us and save us. And the answer was so simple and I understand it in such a better way. First, He’s our Father. As a parent – when my kids are brokenhearted the only place I want to be is right next to them with my arms wrapped tightly around them – comforting them. Because I’m their mom and I love them. When they feel like they’re beaten up – I want to jump in a
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Shell Talk

What's Shell Talk?  Shell Talk was born about 20 years ago when I would have random thoughts and share them with my husband. Some were wise, some were crazy, some were just random and weird. But everyday there was a thought. Fast forward 20 years and I am a little older (very little if you don't look at the date on my drivers license) and I'm a little wiser and Shell Talk has become a little wiser and a little edgier.  Shell Talk is real talk. I don't have time to sugar coat stuff anymore and I don't have the energy to either. So here's my little blog - sometimes I'll post a link to a youtube expanding on it. Sometimes I'll just post a random thought, sometimes my devotion from my Bible reading. But every post will be to spread a little wisdom as I see it. My hope is that some will be encouraged, some will grow, some will share, and everyone will see God.   I'm not gonna pull any punches. I'm gonna say it like I see it. I'm not saying I
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